So she begs, not for forgiveness, but to forget.

And so she begs,

not for forgiveness,

but for forgetfulness.

Would life be easier if forgiveness and forgetfulness was simultaneously?

If the mind could only disassociate sadness, guilt, and pain from our memories; we would be able to remember the only the good times. Forgetting the hardship, hurt, disappointment only enjoying blissful happiness.

 What if you could replace forgiveness with forgetfulness?

 As a society we have been taught forgiveness, forgive and move on...let go and you will grow. But...the draw back to this perfect solution is you will always remember. Forgiveness should be simultaneously with forgetting. Let go of the anger and move on... but moving on is often held up by the memories. Memories that crawl out of the corner of your very being...memories changing into a nightmare. 

Haunting... Ephemerally... Fleetingly... Outer body experiences resulting from an initial experience that imprinted for a lifetime... Tragic static, white noise like an endless loop of tape....never sure when the beginning merged into the ending, constantly playing over and over. 

I have forgiven and some days I even forget. Occasionally I have an overwhelming feeling that no matter what I do in my life, nothing will ever save me from myself. 

Because I remember.

Not the good, not the smiles, not the joy, that is the cruelty of my forgiveness...