Do you have your computer on?

My mother-in-law calls me this morning early
Hello,
Good morning do you have your computer on?.
Sure, what do you need?
 How do you spell Missouri?
 Seriously?
 Yes, I don't think it looks right.
M-I-S-S-O-U-R-I.
Are you sure I didn't hear you punch anything in?
 Pretty sure, but hold on I loudly PUNCH in MISSOURI
Yep just as I thought.
How about ST Louis?
ST. L-O-U-I-S PUNCH... PUNCH....
Ok,  I am sending in a request for insurance papers and I wasn't sure. Thank you so much sweetie.
Glad I can help.

Hour or so later
Hello, hey are you in front of your computer?
 I can be what's up?
 Mom said Brenda passed a wreck on her way home from Walmarts, can you punch it in and see who it is?  No, it doesn't work like that.
 Really, I thought you could find anything on the internet.

A Little Later On
Hey, are you in front of your computer?
Sure, well I have a new one hundred dollar bill and Stuart told me to get rid of it because the Government could track you with the new bills.
 Really, I heard they changed colors if they were exposed to heat but that is a new one on me.
Well, he said he saw it himself.  He was at Smilies house and he pulled it up on the computer, entered in the serial number and a satellite showed the top of his house on the screen.
I found one called whereisgeorge.com, but I don't know if it has a satellite feed.  Do you have a bill and I will enter it if you want? I think this one is really just one to enter in a bill and track where it ends up.
Really, I thought you could find anything on the internet...

Now, Stuart is my brother in law, so do I get in front of my computer and prove this is bullshit or do I play nice.  Stupid fucking question right?   So, I search diligently to try to prove that we are in the age of constant tracking if you are holding the big bills... but instead I come up with an abundance of proof that my brother in law is well out there...I pass this info along with one website call whereisgeorge.com that you can actually register a bill and track it since Stuart swore he saw this with his own two eyes!  

This happened before lunch and the day is young...and it happens at least once or twice a day.  I am the human search engine.